_Kim is raising her LGBTQ+ kids with love and acceptance
Could you tell us a bit about your family?
I’m married and a mother of three. Our eldest, Jackson, is 24 and identifies as bisexual. Ethan is 22 and identifies as bisexual. And Ash, our youngest at 19, is a trans male in the first half of their transition. Supporting them has meant creating a safe space at home where they can be themselves without judgment.
Our middle son was the first of our children to ‘come out’. When I told my eldest that his brother was bisexual, he laughed and said, “Me too, Mum”. Within six months, Ash had told us that they were bisexual as well. At first, I thought they were maybe too young to know, but I could tell that Ash was uncomfortable in their skin, and after learning more about gender fluidity from Tik Tok, we talked, they said, “I just don’t feel like a girl."
What challenges have you faced as your children came to terms with their identities?
One of the biggest challenges was adjusting to using new pronouns for Ash. It’s a significant change and vital to respect their identity. But it has been tricky for some members of the family to get used to—particularly my mum. And sometimes, we do make mistakes that Ash understands.
It was also essential for us to grieve the loss of the child we thought we had to help us fully embrace the child they are. It’s a mix of emotions, but the joy of seeing them live authentically is incomparable.
How do you approach the topic of discrimination and prepare your children for the realities they may face?
It’s a tough conversation, but it’s necessary. Our kids are fortunate to have grown up in a supportive environment with love and acceptance from chosen family and friends. So, I’ve actively tried to prepare them that they will come across people that aren’t so open-minded, so they know that prejudice exists. I’ve tried to teach them that if they come across it, the safest thing they can do is not react.
What advice would you give to other parents with LGBTQ+ children?
Be curious and open-minded and educate yourself. We’ve found strength in counselling both individually and as a family. We had great support from friends who had similar experiences. I’d suggest seeking out LGBTQ+ communities where you can learn from people and resources like Headspace. Comedy improv classes have also helped children build their confidence. It’s also crucial to prepare them for potential discrimination and to emphasise the power of a supportive community, chosen family and the importance of finding their ‘people’.
Your family seems to have a strong foundation of acceptance and respect. How has this shaped your approach to parenting?
Our family has always been open-minded and embraced diversity. We believe in respecting everyone for who they are, and that’s been the cornerstone of our parenting. It’s about understanding that everyone’s journey is unique and deserves love and support.
Do you have any final thoughts or messages?
Love is the most powerful tool we have. Embrace your children for who they are, and the world will be a brighter place for it. I hope our story can inspire others who might be navigating this journey.
Kim's experience highlights the need for parents to be proactive in educating themselves and creating a nurturing environment for their children to thrive.
Here are some other resources that might be helpful:
- Rainbow Families is a voice for those lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ+) parents and their kids, supporting celebrating, empowering, and advocating for Rainbow Families at every stage of their lives.
- Minus18 is Australia's organisation for LGBTI youth – smashing homophobia and transphobia through events, support, training, and campaigns.
- Designed with – and specifically for – young people, ReachOut is 100% online, anonymous, and confidential, and lets young people connect on their terms.